You can Stop Hustling and Still Matter
Really? How? Tell me more
Being caught up in the revolving hustle and chasing of that next thing on your list is not only exhausting, but maybe also limiting and keeping you stuck in a cycle of fear. Hmmm let’s explore this more. Can you relate to this storyline? Finish school, get a job, travel (maybe), establish meaningful friendships, set some personal/professional goals, get the promotion, buy a house, eat well, get fit, and find a partner to settle down with- get married and have a family…and then what? I know these are changing times, but for a lot of us this sequence of events is still used as a measuring stick for determining our success, our worth.
I mean what happens when we don’t fit the mold, follow the “rules,” or achieve a checkmark somewhere on this list? Or what if we do, but then realize we still feel unsatisfied, and are left needing more and more checkmarks to feel good about ourselves. Whether we are focused on the unchecked items or need more items to check, we fear that we are not going to feel good until X happens. As if once it does, we will somehow magically reach destination “good enough,” and peacefully go about our happy life.
Unfortunately for us there is no such destination and even better our mind LOVES to play the comparison game. The familiar tape sounds something like, “I should do that, have that, go there, buy that, eat that.” You get the idea. Listening to this tape on repeat is exactly what fuels the I’m not good enough story.
When we exist from this place of lack, these messages translate into~ I should be better, do better, hustle harder, and I should be able to keep up, do it all and MORE.
Let’s face it. Being or doing “better” in today’s culture always comes with that underlying expectation to do MORE.
The words Doing and More = Better. Who even decided this for us? Our Western patriarchal culture that’s who. What’s interesting is that when we reach capacity and feel we cannot possibly take on any more, whether it be at work, or for our kids and family, the immediate response is to judge, beat ourselves up and assume with a big broad paint brush that this means we are failing at life. That since we can’t do it all, juggle it all, that there must be something wrong with us. But is there?
Maybe we are not designed to hustle 24/7 or even 24/5. Perhaps we don’t have to keep up and keep it all together all of the time. Chasing some ideal that is actually derived from our perception of what we think other people are doing or are needing from us. If we take pause and recognize the chaos and busyness that is going on around us we might just awaken to a craving for new perspective or change. Why? Because we are just so tired.
When you tell yourself to “be better” you are also saying who I am right now is not enough.
When we place this kind of demand on ourselves, we are rejecting who we are in this moment. Of course we do not do this intentionally or even consciously. We do it as a result of being conditioned by the nature of the hustle. This self-limiting mindset— the one that tells us we are not enough is further amplified by the uncomfortable emotions it stirs up. Anxiety, fear, and shame being at the root of it. And how do we respond? Typically by hustling even harder, because if we are constantly doing then there is no time to feel what is painful or difficult. If you notice you struggle to slow it down and fight with feeling enough, I invite you to head over to my free offerings page and grab yourself this FREE Mindful Grounding Practice.
So is there room for getting curious? For new perspective? For reflection and reframing how we speak to ourselves or for simply creating space to notice this unhelpful track of thoughts and feelings that is running the show? If we are awakened to the idea that our hustle and the experience that goes along with it is no longer serving us then I guess we have a choice to make.
What if we let our inner self dictate what it means to “be better.”
What if we could flip the script from “should” to “could” to offer ourselves some choice in the matter or straight up question why? Giving ourselves permission to consider what it is that we might actually want. To be and do what feels good in our hearts. What if you could allow yourself to slow down, do less, and really tune into what matters to you without the noise of all the shoulds and have to’s. And even more what if this did not at all impact how you define your worth. What would it look like to feel enough from this place and really trust it?
Now I do not have all the answers layed out here. There is no golden step by step recipe for achieving this state of being. If there were it might mean leading you towards yet another ideal to chase or a path that you feel pressured to live up to. Which would only reinforce the status quo narrative that is in question here.
The truth is the answers lie within yourself.
And you know what? Here’s the secret…They have been there all along and are longing to be acknowledged and honoured. Only you can know what this means for you.
If this reflection resonates with you, I urge you to reflect on this prompt below and see what reveals itself to you…
To be better…I come back to myself.
Are you exhausted, feeling done with the hustle? The chase? The checkmarks? Are you ready to truly know yourself and allow this state to dictate your worth?