What is Authenticity??
A trait, a value, a way of living?
The term authenticity can be considered a few different ways. A trait or characteristic to describe who we are or who we are not, a value that we strive to fulfill, and as a way to identify how we think, feel and act in the world. When I google authenticity, Wikipedia describes it as “the degree to which a person's actions are congruent with their values and desires, despite external pressures to social conformity.” This definition immediately reveals how embodying courage is essential for living authentically. Being brave enough to stand in the power of who you are, even if that means breaking from cultural and societal constraints.
We all want to belong and feel worthy.
We are all human and in one way or another know how difficult it can be to resist this urge to conform, or accommodate. Why? Because we all want to belong and feel worthy of receiving love. This need for belonging and love is not limited to experiences within romantic relationships, although it very much applies here. Sometimes we want to belong so badly that fear takes hold and we end up sacrificing who we are to get it over and over again. When this happens the high is only short lived, and we are left feeling more and more drained, anxious, alone, and hurt by our own betrayal.
This reminds me of the work Brene Brown and her research team has done to understand what it means to experience true belonging (stay tuned for a future post on this very topic). What cannot be ignored is how authenticity is a key ingredient for experiencing belonging, as she explains,
“True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.”
Although we can relate to and find meaning in the definition above, consider this. Authenticity is not one fixed way of being, it is fluid, as who you are can and will change over time. There is no right or wrong way to define authenticity as the way we relate to it is going to be a very individual experience. What makes this so? This undeniable relationship between authenticity and our true self.
When we truly embody authenticity, we are in a state of connecting with and accepting our true selves.
This is what leads me to believe that how we experience authenticity might actually be more of a FEELING.
When you feel a big YES in your body and when what you are doing just feels RIGHT.
Let’s reflect on this for a moment. When you are doing something that you do not want to be doing, whether you find yourself unhappy in your job, relationships or personal life, you are pushing against yourself and will be met with feelings of unease.
On the other hand, when do you experience feelings of ease?? Are you playing a sport, getting creative, engaged in your work, having a good conversation, enjoying some quiet time with a good book or doing some other meaningful activity?
Regardless of what you are doing, you know what that feeling of ease feels like. When you feel a big YES in your body and when what you are doing just feels RIGHT in that moment. Give yourself permission to learn from this feeling and from your intuition that knows exactly what you need. Lean into and trust this feeling of ease and use it as your guidepost.
When we connect to feelings of ease, and this knowing when something feels right, we are aligning with authenticity and our truest self.
Are you ready to connect with feelings of ease and be guided by your authentic self?